Sundays are a really hard day for Kellen, the routine is different so that might add to it. He cried most of the morning because he didn't want to get dressed, which is not at all out of the ordinary. If you have ever stooped by then you know that Kellen hangs out in his underwear or PJ's all day. And not because I'm lazy, because he wont let me take them off, and I am not going to pick a fight I know I can't win. He is learning that if he wants to go bye bye, he has to put on clothes. As soon as we get home he will go strait to his room and find his PJ's though.
Kellen still goes to the Nursery, even though he should be in primary. Since the beginning of the year we have been trying to get him to go, but it is just to much of a change, and can't handle it. A few times they brought him to me in a total melt down, I felt so bad for him. He is normally such a happy kid, and to see him cry like that just broke my heart. So the teachers and I tried a few things but nothing was working, so we thought it would be best to let him stay in nursery for now. Thank goodness it's a small nursery. I'm hopping that when we move we will be able to get him into primary in our new ward, but then again everything is going to be new, and tossing primary into the mix might be to much.
Today I went to go check on Kellen in the nursery to make sure he was doing ok. I peeked through the window to see Kellen standing on the table dancing, and then jump off. This kid cracks me up.
Another time, I helped out in the nursery because they were short handed, and Kellen seemed kind of wired. I asked the nursery working if Kellen was always like this, She said "Oh no this is a good day for him." Oh my goodness my child keeps them on there toes.
Sacrament is always the hardest for Kellen, which it is for all kids. Most of the time we only make it long enough to partake of the sacrament and then leave. I know we should try to stick it out, but Preston and I have had enough bloody noses and fat lips to last a life time. We take turns being out in the hall with him, so that each of us gets to hear a little something. I feel like we have tried everything, and nothing is helping. This may be one of those things that will just get better with time, and we just need to be patient.
Here is what we have tried: Different toys every week. A special toy to hold as we walk into the Chapel. Headphones with soft music. His blanket. Getting there first. Getting there last. Bribery. Tons of food! Sitting with friends. Sitting alone, or near the front, or in the way back. Taking him for walks every 10 minutes. Compression vest. and others.
And it's not even that I want him to sit and be quiet, I just want him to not climb over/under the pews, to not throw his toys/shoes 6 rows up, or pull the hair of the girl in front of us, or start screaming in the middle of a pray, or start hitting the woman next to us.
I know there are a few of you guys that have some experience with special kids, so I thought I would just throw this out there, I am at a complete loss of how to help Kellen get through church. So if you have ideas of things I have not tried feel free to share.
4 comments:
Oh, Teri, I'm so sorry! You guys are studs for sticking it out each week and making what you can of it. My friends have an 8 yr. old son with autism. (They've also had their share of bloody noses) In our building, the primary room has a speaker that connects to the chapel. So they go in there with their family and try to listen to what they can. Some weeks their son just lays on the floor and plays, other weeks he runs out of the room every 5 min. and they usually end up chasing him all over the building. So it's not any real solution, but just another idea to look into. Kellen seems to be one lucky kid to have parents like you two!
Thanks for sharing with us. Kellen is adorable and I hope that the church situation improves in time! Wish I had some awesome advice but, I'm just starting the parenting journey myself and facing all sorts of obstacles. I pray for progress for you guys! How have you been feeling this pregnancy?
We have friends how have two children with Autism and she said that when they were Kellen's age (they are now 6 and 11) they did a lot of not being in sacrament. Now their kids color a lot, and still take potty and water breaks but they are also on medication. She told me that that has been their saving grace. She also said that church is just one big sensory overload for them. She did say that it's gotten much better over time but that it has taken a lot of work. You and Preston are two of the most calm and patient people I have ever known. Kellen is so blessed to have you as parents.
We have speakers in the primary room too so we often have to take Ofa in there. It helps so that we can hear some of sacrament. I know about the throwing of toys and hitting the people next to us. Hang in there. You are doing great and he is really lucky to have you.
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